i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
