you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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