I feel like abortions should bother me more
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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