He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
