Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
