There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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