he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
