How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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