No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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