This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
