i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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