I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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