"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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