I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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