Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize