Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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