So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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