the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
