Me too!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
