I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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