Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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