grandma shit on top of the toilet
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
