when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
