To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize