i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
