it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
