If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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