i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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