Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
