ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
