We won't sleep together?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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