I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
