youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
