What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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