He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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