they need to just BURY HIM!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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