After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
