Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
