i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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