Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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