We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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