I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
look no pants
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
