There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
