Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
