He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
