Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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