I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
