He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
