it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
