i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
