My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
