piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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