Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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