I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
