Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
