you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
