Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
