You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you would pick up someone in the library
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
