# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
