Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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