so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
