all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
