Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
