Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
