He is an equal opportunity slut.
false alarm. still invincible.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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