I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
