I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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