my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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