So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the room spins SO much faster in panama
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
