can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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