Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He better not be in your backpack
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
